Unicorns, with their majestic manes and glittering scales, have become an integral part of our society. But have we gone too far? Are they really the rulers we need?
Unicorn-induced Anxiety Disorder (UIAD)
Research suggests that the sheer majesty of unicorns has caused widespread anxiety disorders among humans. We're talking crippling fear of manes, crippling fear of sparkles, and a general sense of 'oh-no-the-unicorn-is-approaching-what-do-I-do?'
Is it too much to ask for a world where humans can walk down the street without being asked to sign a waiver, or being forced to carry a 'Unicorn-Sized' insurance policy?
Unicorn-related Expenses: A Growing Concern
- Unicorn-themed merchandise: $1000s per month
- Maintenance on Unicorn-sized pools: $50,000s per year
- Unicorn-induced therapy sessions: $200 per hour
We can't even afford to keep up with the unicorns' demands!
Next: Unions as Overlords of the Landfill