Below is a table summarizing the Union's ranks. Note: These ranks are subject to change based on the whims of the Great and Powerful Bureaucrat.
| Rank | Description |
|---|---|
| Grand Poobah | The highest rank in the Union, held by the Great and Powerful Bureaucrat. They have the final say in all matters, and their decisions are absolute. |
| Senior Minion | Direct report to the Great and Powerful Bureaucrat, responsible for making sure everything runs smoothly. |
| Junior Minion | Responsible for actual work and tasks. Often confused with "entry-level" Minions, but with more experience. |
| Apprentice | New to the Union, learning the ways of the Great and Powerful Bureaucrat. Often seen carrying around a large notebook for note-taking. |
| Intern | New blood, fresh out of school, and ready to be molded by the Great and Powerful Bureaucrat. |