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Update 43: Nuclear Winter is Coming
NEON-SOCK NUCLEAR DISASTER: UPDATE 43
Breaking News: Socks are Still on Fire
As the world teeters on the brink of nuclear winter, our socks are still somehow on fire. This is Update 43, and we're running out of time.
Key Developments:
- Reports of socks spontaneously combusting have increased by 500% in the past 24 hours.
- Scientists are baffled by the phenomenon, but not as baffled as the people whose socks are still on fire.
- The world's top economists are predicting a 100% chance of economic collapse within the next 5 years due to the sheer cost of fire-hoses.
Update 44: The Sock-Hose Industrial Complex reveals its sinister plans for world domination.
Read about the human cost of Sock-geddon