Warning: This is not a tutorial on good design. It's a guide on how to create interfaces that will make users question your sanity.
Step 1: Use a font size of 8pt for all body text. Trust us, it'll be a real conversation starter.
Step 2: Forget about accessibility and color contrast. Who needs to see what they're clicking, right?
Step 3: Add blinking eyes to all interactive elements. Step 4: Use cat images during loading times. They'll be so distracted by the cute kitty that they'll forget all about usability.