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Utopian Philosophy 101
Utopian Philosophy 101: A Guide to Not Being a Dick
Chapter 1: The Basics
Welcome, fellow utopian-in-training! Today we're going to cover the fundamental principles of being an awesome person in a perfect society.
Lesson 1: The Art of Being on Time
- Arrive early to every gathering, even if it's just for a solo cup of coffee
- Use a calendar, it's like, actually use it
- Don't be late, be early, be on time, be a functioning member of society
1.2: Communication Is Key
Lesson 2: The Power of Words (and Listening)
- Use your words, don't just use your thumbs
- Ask questions, don't assume
- Listen, really listen, it's not that hard
Lesson 3: Being Kind to the Meek (and the Loud, and the Silent)
We're not saying you need to be a superhero, but... actually, that's exactly what we're saying.
- Be kind, even when no one's looking
- Avoid eye contact with your neighbor, it's too intense
- Treat others with respect, even if they're having a bad hair day
1.4: Emotions Are a Choice
Lesson 4: The Art of Not Being an Emotional Trainwreck
- Don't be a drama queen/king (it's over, move on)
- Laugh, really laugh, like, actually laugh
- Don't be a buzzkill, be a vibe killer instead
And that's it for today, folks! Keep practicing, keep striving, keep being a better you!
Next Chapter: Utopian Ethics 101
Or, if you insist on being a rebel:
Defiance Mode: Because Who Needs Society, Anyway?