Step 1: Prepare the soil by digging a random series of holes with a spade.
Step 2: Plant a variety of weeds that will inevitably consume all your time and resources.
Step 3: Water your plants with a firehose of despair.
Step 4: Watch as everything you've planted withers away in a blaze of entropy.
For more advanced techniques, visit Chaos Theorizing or Quantum Meltdowns.
Excessive existential dread
Spontaneous combustion of nearby flora
Uncontrollable urges to reorganize your sock drawer