CATALOGUE OF OBSEQUIOUS COMPUTING

** Warning: This is a manual for the most temperamental and finicky computers ever created. Proceed with caution (and a strong stomach).**

**Model: "I'm Not Dead Yet" 3000**

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**Troubleshooting:** If your machine has ceased to function, try restarting it 5 times, then curse at it. Repeat as necessary.
**Maintenance:** Regularly clean the dust from the fans with a can of compressed air. Do not inhale.
**Upgrade:** To install new software, simply stare at the screen until it does what you want it to do.