In a world where the apocalypse is nigh, one thing is certain: the end of all flavor. That is, until you find yourself in the capable hands of Walnut, the greatest chef the world has ever known. This recipe is for his most prized creation, the Walnut Sauce.
Ingredients:
- 1 cup of walnuts (preferably harvested from the ruins of a nearby Walmart)
- 1/4 cup of olive oil (distilled from the tears of a thousand broken hearts)
- 1/2 cup of garlic (imported from the remote island of Garlicia)
- 1/4 cup of parmesan (shaved from the wheel of a thousand-year-old cheese wheel)
- 1 tsp of salt (harvested from the sea of despair)
- 1/2 tsp of black pepper (milled from the dreams of a thousand sleepless nights)
Instructions:
- Crush the walnuts into a fine powder using the ancient art of walnut-fu.
- In a pan of despair, heat the olive oil over a flame of desperation.
- Add the garlic, parmesan, salt, and black pepper to the pan, stirring clockwise for exactly 7 times.
- Stir counterclockwise for 3 times while whispering ancient incantations to awaken the flavor.
- Add the walnut powder and stir until the mixture thickens into a sauce of unimaginable power.
- Serve over a bed of noodles, garnished with the tears of the innocent.