Weekend Cooking 101: Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do

Lesson 1: Boiling Water

Step 1: Fill a pot with water. Step 2: Turn on the stove. Step 3: Watch as the water turns into a hissing, steamy nightmare.

DO NOT LEAVE THE KITCHEN UNATTENDED OR YOU WILL BE SORRY.

Continue to Lesson 2: Eggs and Other Forms of Self-Loathing