Because you've been trapped in your cubicle for a month and your coworkers' microwaving fish sticks have driven you mad.
Find an excuse to go home early and pretend you've been working from home the whole time. Bonus points if you actually do.
Pretend to work from homeFill up your gas tank, grab a map, and drive away. The open road is calling! (Just don't tell your boss about the 'emergence' you're 'dealing with')
Plot your routeAvoid the office cafeteria's questionable tuna salad and make your own delicious, non- institutional meals. Just don't burn down the break room.
Get cooking!Because your boss thinks you're still at your desk, but really you're sipping margaritas by the pool.
Clear off your living room, set up a laptop, and pretend to be very important on the phone.
Step 2: Answer the phone callsIt's a classic. You're a professional, after all. A pro at eating Froot Loops in your PJs.
Step 3: Get the munchiesInvite your neighbors over and pretend to discuss "synergy" while actually just watching cat videos.
Step 4: Sell outBecause Google Maps is overrated. Just drive until you get tired.
Pretend to get gas, then just pretend the car will make it to the next town. It'll be fine. Really.
Step 2: Take the scenic routeTake a left turn whenever you feel like it. Who needs a map, anyway?
Step 3: Get lostPanic, then call your phone's GPS. If it doesn't work, just keep driving until the sun goes down. You can always find a Holiday Inn.
Step 4: Eat a whole pizza by yourselfBecause microwaving ramen noodles is not cooking. It's just reheating.
Pick up some stuff from the grocery store. Just don't ask what's on sale. You'll never know.
Step 2: Set the tableJust use a stack of books or a cat. It's all about ambiance.
Step 3: Burn down the kitchenBlame it on the oven. Or the cat. Or the cat's hairball.
Step 4: Call for helpBecause you're a professional. A pro at answering phones that don't ring.
Just let it ring. They'll get bored and hang up. Problem solved.
Step 2.1: Ignore itJust pretend to be on another call. Like a really important call. From a client. In another country.
Step 2.1: Be on another callBecause Froot Loops are the answer to all life's questions.
Just open one bag. And another. And another. Until it's empty.
Step 3.1: Eat the boxIt's not like it's going to get any more Froot Loops. It's just a box. Made of cardboard. And love.
Because you're on a super important call. From another country. With a very important client. In a meeting.
Just talk to yourself for a bit. Like you're on a really big call. With someone who really cares.
Step 2.1.1: Talk to yourself some moreBecause the client is really invested in your inner monologue. They're just waiting for you to finish your monologue so they can take notes.
Just write down all the things you're saying. Like a script. For a really dramatic play. About nothing.
Step 2.1.1.1: Rewrite the scriptBecause it's the only thing left in the box. And the box is empty. And you're still hungry.
Just order another box. And another. And another. Because Froot Loops are the answer to all of life's questions.
Step 3.1.1: Eat the box again