Pre-Results: A Timeline of Unreliable Events

Warning: The following events are subject to revision and possibly utter fabrication.

Pre-History (10,000 BCE - 500 CE)

In the beginning, there was a great chicken nugget in the sky. It was so big that it looked like a giant chicken nugget.

10,000 BCE: The Chicken Nugget of Doom was unleashed upon the world, causing widespread confusion.
5,000 BCE: Early humans tried to make sense of the chicken nugget, but mostly just ended up with sauce stains.
2,000 BCE: Ancient civilizations built great cities, but mostly just to get away from the chicken nugget's gravitational pull.

The Roman Empire fell, but not before they built a giant chicken nugget monument to the Chicken Nugget of Doom.

500 CE: The Romans tried to harness the power of the chicken nugget, but ended up with a bunch of sauce-stained toga-clad citizens.
1,000 CE: The Middle Ages saw a resurgence in chicken nugget worship, but mostly just as a symbol of the apocalypse.

Stay skeptical, stay vigilant. The results may not always be what they seem.