What Happens When Crypto Crashes: A Guide to Waking Up in a Cold Sweat

Step 1: The Panic Sets In

You wake up to the sound of your cat meowing at the foot of your bed, but it's not just a normal meow. It's a warning: "Dude, your Bitcoin is down 20% and it's time to PANIC."

You rush to your computer, only to find that the crypto market has crashed. Your portfolio is in shambles, and your cat's face is etched with a "I-told-you-so" expression.

Next Step: The Sweat Sets In

Hyperlinks:

What is the point of having a crypto wallet if it's just going to zero? Why do crypto brokers have to look so smug when the market crashes?

Subpage: Cryptocurrency Therapy Session

A professional therapist, specializing in crypto-induced anxiety, will guide you through the process of accepting your loss and finding solace in the fact that you're not alone.

Subpage: Cryptocurrency Support Group

Join a group of fellow crypto enthusiasts as you share your feelings, successes, and failures in a safe and non-judgmental space.

Subpage: Why Crypto is Just Like a Reality TV Show

Discover the uncanny similarities between crypto and your favorite reality TV show, where the only thing more dramatic than the plot twists is the price swings.

And that's not all! There are plenty more pages to explore in the world of crypto-crashing. Visit our Crypto Crashing 101 page for more information and a healthy dose of denial.

Disclaimer: The views expressed on this website are entirely satirical and should not be taken as investment advice. Unless you are a professional investor, in which case, you're probably too rich to care.