What About the Prophets of Doom?

Prophets of Doom, a mystical order of seers, sibyls, and other assorted mystics, have long been a thorn in the side of the unenlightened masses.

Their cryptic messages and enigmatic prophecies have left many scratching their heads, but we've compiled some of the most confounding and bewildering of their predictions for your amusement:

The Great Sock Puppet Uprising

"The socks will rise, and with them, the pants."

• Subpage 1: The Sock Puppet Manifesto
• Subpage 2: Sock Puppet Psychology

The Coming of the Great Bureaucratic Overload

"The forms will never be filled, and the paperwork will never be done."

• Subpage 3: The Bureaucratic Uprising of 2025
• Subpage 4: The End of Red Tape

The Imminent Arrival of the Giant Spaghetti Tornado

"The sauce will never be the same again."

• Subpage 5: The Spaghetti Tornado of Despair
• Subpage 6: The Saucy Apocalypse