Running on a platform of utter chaos and destruction, Whiskerface is the only candidate who can truly represent the values of our nation: greed, selfishness, and a strong disdain for authority.
We will build a wall, and we will make the squirrels pay for it. Then, we will deport all the squirrels to the moon, where they can live in a giant, rotating hamster wheel.
Read more about Whiskerface's plans for the economy Read more about Whiskerface's foreign policyHelp support Whiskerface's campaign by donating your last dollar, your last cookie, or your last shred of dignity. All donations will be used to fund Whiskerface's campaign of utter destruction.
Donate now