Safety Bonuses: Because Who Needs Actual Safety?

We offer a range of services designed to give you the illusion of safety while still allowing you to engage in reckless behavior.

Our Safety Bonuses include:

• Virtual safety goggles for when you really should have been paying attention, but didn't.
• Emergency contact information for when you inevitably get lost in the woods while searching for the "perfect selfie spot."
• Discrepancies insurance for when your lies start to catch up to you.
• Our patented Safety Bonuses Algorithm, guaranteed to make you 99.44% less likely to get hurt (results not actually scientifically proven).

Subservices

Want more specifics about our Safety Bonuses? Click on one of the following links:

• Safety Goggles
• Emergency Contacts
• Discrepancies Insurance
• Algorithm