Why I Won't Answer My Phone

I'm not a telemarketer. I'm not a survey-taker. I'm not a friend who only calls to say "Hey, what's up?" when you're in the middle of a meeting.

• Reason 1: I'm trying to meditate. My phone is a meditation obstacle.
• Reason 2: I'm trying to cook a chicken. It's a delicate operation.
• Reason 3: I'm trying to learn how to play the trombone. It's a lot harder than it looks.

But don't worry, I'll get back to you... eventually. Maybe. If I remember.