Because, honestly, we just like them. There's something oddly satisfying about a page that's just screaming, "Hey, I'm important! Look at me!"
Plus, it's a great way to make our users feel like they're browsing the world's most secure, most exclusive, and most utterly bewildering website.
But, let's be real, the real reason is that our team lead insisted on it. He's got a thing with the 90s.
It all started with a drunken night in 2010 when we decided, "You know what would be fun? If we made everything on the internet look like a ransom note!"
We hammered out the design, and before we knew it, we were stuck with these...things.
'border' attribute: our team lead's hairstyle