Why We Burn It: A Study in Infernal Futility
It's a question that has puzzled scholars and arsonists for centuries: why, exactly, do we burn it? The answers, as it turns out, are many and varied.
Theories:
- It's a cry for help. We're trying to send a signal to the world that our sanity has finally reached a critical point and we just need someone, anyone, to understand.
- It's a form of performance art. We're trying to create a dramatic spectacle, a blaze of glory, a bonfire of existential crisis.
- It's just really good exercise.
And don't even get us started on the benefits of a good burn:
- Smokey the Bear would be proud.
- It's a great way to get out of a bad relationship.
- We're just really, really good at it. Like, seriously good.
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