YOU'VE BEEN LOST AT SEA

We've received reports of your vessel being spotted 300 meters off the coast of Nowheresville, USA

We're working to establish communication with your crew, but our best estimates suggest you'll be adrift for at least 5-7 business days.

Recommended courses of action:

• Send a distress signal using your trusty ol' CB radio
• Try to flag down a passing seagull, they're known to be good Samaritans
• Just sit tight and hope the tide comes in

P.S. Don't blame us for this, we warned you about the coffee machine

Last updated: 2024-02-15 14:30:00