The Sleeping Technique of Doom

Warning: This technique has been known to cause extreme lethargy, excessive drooling, and a heightened sense of existential dread.

Step 1: Find a comfortable position on your couch, preferably with a clear view of the TV.

Step 2: Set your phone on "Do Not Disturb" mode, but only after setting a timer for 3 hours.

Step 3: Close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and repeat the following mantras: "I am a sloth," "I am a sloth," "I AM A SLOTH."

For advanced users, repeat the mantras while performing a slow-motion rendition of "The Running Man" dance.

Advanced Techniques for those who wish to take their sloth-hood to the next level.

Remember, practice this technique regularly, and you'll be well on your way to becoming a master of the Sleeping Technique of Doom.