Zero as a Concept
Welcome to the quantification of emotions, where feelings are measured in units of zero.
In this realm, happiness is quantified as -0.5 units of joy, while sorrow is measured as +2.5 units of despair.
We've developed a new metric, the Emotion-o-Meter, to track these fluctuations.
Our research has led to some surprising results:
- 0.0001% of people reported feeling exactly zero emotions while watching paint dry.
- 99.99% of respondents experienced a 4.2 unit increase in existential dread after reading the fine print on a toaster manual.
To learn more about our groundbreaking research, click here or explore our market analysis.