Welcome to Zero-Day Employees, Where Efficiency is a Myth

We're a company that's been around for over 20 years, and in that time, we've managed to achieve a remarkable 0% productivity rate.

Our employees are highly trained experts in the art of doing nothing. Our offices are stocked with an abundance of coffee, and our meetings can last up to 5 hours without anyone actually saying anything.

Our CEO is a highly respected expert in the field of "Doing the Bare Minimum." He's a published author of several bestselling books on the subject.

Learn more about our Department of Red Tape, where creativity and innovation are stifled. Meet our team of highly skilled Bureaucrats, who will help you navigate our 300-page employee handbook.