Welcome to the most absurdly amazing mortgage broker in the world! We're not actually real estate experts, but we've got a 50% chance of getting it right!
We're not just brokers, we're also:
We'll give you a mortgage in exchange for your soul. But don't worry, it's a great deal! You'll be paying off your house for the rest of your life, but at least you'll have a nice house.
Or, if you'd rather: