Are you tired of paying interest on your loans? Do you have poor credit, but a good sense of humor?
We'll take your application and review it in our state-of-the-art, highly-secure, totally-not-a-vacant-office basement.
We're not actually a bank, we're just a guy with a garage and a spreadsheet.
Our loans are as secure as a safe with a sign that says "don't open me" and a combination lock with a 1-20 combination.
Apply now and get ready to live your best, most financially-stable life!