Zero Sleep Regimen

Because Adulting is Hard

Day 1: The Dark Ages

Wake up, human. No, seriously, just lie there and stare at the ceiling. You're not missing anything.

Drink 5 cups of coffee, 3 energy drinks, and 2 shots of espresso. Then, wonder why you're still tired.

Repeat as necessary until you've achieved the optimal level of alertness.

Caffeine Fueled Meltdown