Zero-Tolerance Protocol: The Bonuses

Upon successful completion of the Zero-Tolerance Protocol, participants will receive the following bonuses:

• A complimentary "I Survived the Zero-Tolerance Protocol" t-shirt with a picture of a sad, defeated face on it
• A year's supply of participation trophies, each one emblazoned with a different shade of red and a slightly different font
• Free admission to the "I'm Still Alive, But Mentally Scarred" support group

Subsection 1.2: Additional Incentives

Participants who complete the protocol in under 30 minutes will receive:

• A 10% discount on their next purchase at the local "I Survived the Zero-Tolerance Protocol" merchandise store
• Exclusive access to the "I'm Still Alive, But Mentally Scarred" private Facebook group
• A personalized, hand-written letter of apology from the protocol's administrators

Continue to Section 2: The Fine Print