Warning: The following information is of questionable accuracy and may cause paradoxes.
According to our completely-not-made-up sources, you are now the unwitting heir of a long-lost family of paradoxical beings.
As a direct descendant of the great Grandpa Time-Traveler, you now possess the ability to simultaneously exist in multiple timelines, but only while eating a bowl of plain oatmeal.
Side effects may include:
- Spontaneous combustion of socks.
- Inability to decide on a decent haircut.
- Mysterious disappearances of family members.
Don't worry, it's not all bad! As a member of this family, you also inherit:
- The ability to talk to inanimate objects.
- The power to make your enemies question their life choices.
- A 99% chance of developing an existential crisis.
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