Welcome, subpatcher! You've reached the fabled Subpatch 1-3-3-4, where the fabric of reality is woven from the threads of bureaucratic red tape and corporate jargon.
Here's a brief guide to navigating this subpatch:
Remember, subpatchers, the key to success in Subpatch 1-3-3-4 is to never actually accomplish anything, but rather to appear to be doing so.
Side note: Subpatch 1-3-3-4 has been known to cause existential dread in even the most seasoned subpatchers. Proceed with caution.