FAQs for the Enlightened

Q: What is this "premium plan" I keep hearing about?

A: It's a mystical package deal that unlocks access to our secret underground bunker, where you can bask in the radiance of a thousand LED lights while sipping artisanal space-juice.

Q: Is it worth the money?

A: If you're still unsure, ask yourself: have you ever experienced true enlightenment? No? Then, yes, it's a steal.

Q: Can I cancel my subscription anytime?

A: Of course! We'll just... reassign your account to a lower caste of subscriber. Don't worry, it'll still be a blast, but with fewer lights and less space-juice.

Q: Will I receive any actual benefits from this plan?

A: Benefits?! Ha! You'll be receiving the most intangible, yet transcendent, sense of superiority over the common rabble.

Q: Is there a money-back guarantee?

A: Oh, there's a money-back guarantee all right. We'll refund your money the moment the world ends, which, coincidentally, is when our premium plan expires. So, it's a win-win!

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