Why are you canceling? Was it the 3am automated phone calls? The constant email spams? Or perhaps it was the 17th iteration of our 'Buy Now and Cry Later' payment plan?
We take all feedback seriously, except on Fridays. On Fridays, we just shrug and pretend it never happened. Don't worry, though; we won't send you any more emails. We promise.
No, really, we mean it. We're done. Don't make us come to your house.