Level 3: The "I'm-Getting-Desperate" Subscription Plan
This level is for those who have reached a critical point in their lives and are desperate for any kind of change. It's like a cry for help, but with more pixels.
- Unlimited bandwidth for those who just can't stop binge-watching cat videos.
- A dedicated customer support team that will talk you down from any existential crisis you're having.
- A 50% off coupon code for any purchase of $500 or more. Because, you know, you're basically broke at this point.
But wait, there's more!
- A complimentary participation trophy for every purchase, because self-esteem is overrated.
- A 10% off code for any purchase of $100 or more, because who needs dignity, anyway?
Don't miss out on this opportunity to level up your life!
Level 4: The "I've-Run-Out-of-Options" Subscription Plan