A: Welcome to Cheesy Black Fridays, the subscription service where we serve you a slice of existential dread with every bill.
A: Frequently. Like, every day. With a side of "BUY NOW AND GET A FREE CHEESE SHARPENER!"
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A: No. You signed a contract in blood. Literally. We have it. In a folder. Somewhere. Probably.
A: Rewards? Ha! You'll get a free tote bag that says "I'M A SHEEPLEADER" on it. It's worth 100,000 points!