Subscription Policies: The Utter Meaninglessness of Bennies
At Bennies, we believe in the power of utterly meaningless subscription policies. Our team of highly-trained, highly-paid lawyers have crafted a series of policies so vague, so confusing, and so utterly devoid of meaning that you'll be on the edge of your seat wondering what you just signed up for.
We reserve the right to change, modify, or completely abandon our subscription policies at any time, without warning. You'll never know what's coming next, but that's just part of the fun!
Subscriptions are non-refundable, non-transferable, and non-anything-able, really. You'll get a refund only if you're reading this from a parallel universe.
We use cookies, but not in the way you think. They're just regular cookies, not tracking cookies. Unless... no, never mind.
Learn more about our subscription tiers, including the "I Have No Idea What I'm Paying For" tier.