Q: What is this subscription service, exactly?
A: It's a subscription service, duh. You pay us money, we give you stuff.
Q: What kind of stuff will I get if I subscribe?
A: You'll get our patented brand of existential dread, delivered right to your doorstep.
Q: How often will I receive these deliveries of existential dread?
A: As often as you want! But let's be real, it's not like it's going to make a difference in the grand scheme of things.