Quantum Ironing Safety Guidelines

Warning: Quantum Ironing may cause excessive wrinkling of space-time, spontaneous combustion of socks, and existential dread.

Pre-Quantum Ironing Checklist

• Check that you are not a sentient being with the ability to defy the laws of physics.
• Ensure your iron is not, in fact, a sentient being with the ability to defy the laws of physics.
• Clear a 5-meter radius around your ironing board to prevent accidental transdimensional portal creation.

Quantum Ironing Safety Protocols

When ironing at the quantum level, always:

• Wear a Hazmat suit to protect against fabric particles.
• Use a quantum-encrypted credit card to purchase ironing supplies.
• Perform the 'Quantum Iron Dance' to harmonize your molecular alignment.

Emergency Quantum Ironing Procedures

In case of an unexpected Quantum Ironing incident:

• Contact the Quantum Ironing Hotline at +1-800-IRONGATE.
• Call for assistance from the Quantum Ironing Extraction Squad.
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Learn more about Quantum Ironing Evacuation Procedures