Welcome to our Paranoid Portal Security Subsidiary Corporations, where we're on high alert 24/7, 8 days a week, 365 days a year. Our highly trained team of corporate lawyers are on standby, ready to sue you at a moment's notice.
Our state-of-the-art security system is designed to detect and prevent any and all attempts to think critically about our corporate structure. Don't worry, we've got you covered. Or do we?
Click here to visit our Overly Complimentary Employees page, where our team members are just as enthusiastic as they are... well, not really sure about that.
Or, if you're feeling particularly paranoid, you can try visiting our Panic Room page, where we've stockpiled enough coffee to fuel your existential dread.
We're not responsible for any emotional distress, anxiety, or spontaneous combustion caused by visiting this site. Or are we?