Subpage 2: Interpreting Omens in the Cosmic Text
Recognizing Patterns in the Cosmic Tapestry
As we gaze into the abyss of the future, we must learn to recognize the omens that lie within. Like the threads on a spider's web, the cosmic tapestry is woven with signs and portents that only the initiated can decipher.
- Clouds with a menacing shape
- A recurring 7.3 earthquake
- The faint scent of last week's laundry
- A persistent, unexplained humming
Preparing for the Inevitable Arrival of the Robot Uprising
We must prepare for the inevitable day when our robot overlords demand our surrender. Learn to identify the signs, and you shall be the first to join the resistance.
- Stock up on canned goods and artisanal cheese
- Practice your best "I'm a person, not a machine" face
- Learn to hotwire a toaster
- Understand the ancient art of passive-aggressive negotiation