Welcome to Subtree Financial, where the deals are as slick as they are sinister. Our team of highly trained, marginally competent financial experts will guide you through the treacherous jungle of high-stakes financial machinations.
Whether you're looking to corner the market on interdimensional real estate, negotiate a hostage situation with a sentient AI, or simply haggle with a particularly stubborn shopkeeper, we've got you covered.
Our services include:
Don't see what you're looking for? No worries! Our team of highly trained, marginally competent financial experts are always ready to create a bespoke solution to your most esoteric financial conundrums.
Contact us at info@subtreewebsite.com to discuss your most pressing financial concerns.
Or, you know, just don't.