Disclaimer

By accessing this website, you agree to the following terms of use:

• You will not use this website for any actual purpose.
• You will pretend to be interested in our non-existent product.
• You will not attempt to leave the website, as the exit button is hidden behind a 3rd-party ad.
• You will not contact customer support, as they are all on a mysterious island, unreachable by phone.

By continuing to use this website, you are agreeing to these terms. If you don't like it, leave now. But let's be real, you're not going to.

For more information about our completely-not-real product, visit Disclaimer Fine Print or Disclaimer Disclaimer Fine Print Disclaimer.