NOTICE OF ABANDONMENT TO THE VOID
To Whom It May Concern (or Whoever Is Left Holding the Bag)
We regret to inform you that, due to unforeseen circumstances, you have been forced onto the Gravity Train. Please find attached your ticket to the next stop.
As you may have noticed, the train is currently traveling at speeds approaching infinity. Please hold on to your seat, as the views will be breathtaking.
You will soon arrive at the Event Horizon of Despair, where you will be greeted by an endless void of nothingness.
Please take a moment to reflect on your life choices, as they will soon be nothing but a distant memory.