Production Planning: Where Dreams Go to Die

Why Bother with Production Planning?

It's not like it's going to make a difference or anything. You'll just end up with a bunch of unnecessary reports and pointless meetings. But hey, at least you can say you tried.

Key Performance Indicators (KPIs)

  • On-time delivery: 0%
  • Under-budget: 0%
  • Happy customers: 0%

Production Planning Process

  1. Make a bunch of spreadsheets
  2. Have a meeting that lasts an hour
  3. Tell everyone to "just wing it"

Tools of the Trade

Common Challenges

  1. People who can't follow the plan
  2. People who think they can follow the plan
  3. People who just don't show up at all

Best Practices

  1. Don't actually plan anything
  2. Just wing it
  3. Blame it on someone else

That's it. That's the entire process. Don't bother asking questions, just pretend you understood it.

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