Surprise Teleportation Blueprints: Teleportation Device 3000 V3.0

This is not just a fancy toaster, it's a fully functional surprise teleportation device. Well, sort of.

With our patented Discombobulation Algorithm (D.A.), we can transport you to any location within a 5-mile radius, but only if you're willing to take a slight risk in your sanity.

Side effects may include:

• Temporary loss of socks
• Involuntary singing of the Macarena
• Unexplained changes in your favorite flavor of ice cream

Upgrades:

• Extra Cheesecake Option
• Anti-Singularity Shield

Known Issues:

Please report any bugs or malfunctions to our Bug Report Form.