Here are some cryptic messages from the great prophets of old, interpreted in the most literal way possible:
Prophecy 1: "The cat in the hat will soon be on the mat." - Oracle of the Whiskers
Prophecy 2: "The chicken nuggets will be plentiful, but the sauce will be a disappointment." - Prophet of the Golden Breading
Read The Chronicles of Chronos, a tale of time and timing
Read the Prophecies of the Ancient Ones, for those who dare to know the truth