The Ultimate Survival Guide: Because You're Probably Going to Need it

Are you ready to face the apocalypse? Do you want to learn how to make a decent cup of ramen noodle soup in the event of a nuclear winter?

Chapter 2.2.1: The Art of Making a Fire in the Dark Without Losing Your Mind

Step 1: Find a dry place to start your fire. Not too hard, right?

Step 2: Gather your materials. You'll need some sticks, twigs, and a lighter. Oh, and a healthy dose of paranoia.

Click here for more advanced fire-starting techniques, like using a mirror and a magnifying glass! Or, if you're feeling really desperate, check out our special section on how to make a fire in the rain without getting wet.

Don't forget: A good survivalist never tells the truth. But we're not good at this whole "survival" thing either.

A picture of a desolate wasteland with a faint hint of doom