Survival Tips for the Modern Emu

Warning: Do not attempt to use these tips unless you are prepared to face the wrath of the emu.

Tip #1: Don't run

Emus are fast. Like, really fast. Like, 'I'll-beat-you-to-the-fridge-and-eat-all-the-cheese' fast. Don't even try, unless you're a cheetah.

Tip #2: Keep a safe distance

Tip #3: Don't get too curious

Emus are like the inquisitive, yet deadly, cousins of the ostrich. Don't even think about it, just don't.

Tip #4: Avoid eye contact

Tip #4: Avoid eye contact

Emus are masters of staring. They can pin you down with their beady little eyes and make you question every life choice you've ever made.

Tip #5: Flee for your life

Tip #5: Flee for your life

When an emu attacks, it's game over for you. Trust us, just flee. Flee, flee, FLEE!

Additional Tips

Just in case you're still reading this, here are some more tips:

Learn more about emus