Survival 101: The Art of Not Dying

Step 1: Find a Safe Place to Hide

Look for a spot with minimal radiation, no toxic waste, and preferably a reliable supply of snacks. Bonus points if it's also a good spot to watch Netflix.

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Step 2: Stock Up

Amplify your pantry with canned goods, bottled water, and a few well-placed fire extinguishers. Don't forget the important stuff: cat food, toilet paper, and a decent bottle of wine.

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Step 3: Make Friends with the Locals

Be nice to the other survivors. Share your snacks and your expertise. Learn how to play the accordion, it's a great icebreaker.

Discover the art of making friends with your fellow doomsday preppers