Stockpile Defense: A Guide to Hording Everything

Stockpiling is not just about hoarding toilet paper; it's a way of life. A way to survive the coming apocalypse, economic downturn, or simply the apocalypse of your aunt's gossip at family gatherings.

Build your pantries of pride: stockpile canned goods, non-perishable items, and anything that'll last longer than your ex's love for you.

Join a hoarders union to connect with other like-minded individuals who'll help you defend your stockpile from the inevitable raiders.

Learn the art of stockpile defense, including: hiding behind a mountain of toilet paper, using diversionary can goods to distract from your true intentions, and deploying your trusty stockpile drones.

Stay vigilant, stay prepared, and remember: you can never have too many canned beans.

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