The Ultimate To-Do List of Utterly Unfulfilled Promises

A catalog of all the things you will never do because, let's be real, who needs that much responsibility?

• Buy a timeshare in a foreign country because why not?
• Learn to play the harmonica with your nose.
• Run a half-marathon on the moon while wearing a cape.
• Write a novel about a talking eggplant who solves crimes.
• Learn to cook a perfect omelette without cracking the eggs.
• Become a professional snail trainer.
• Learn to communicate with household appliances.
• Start a collection of antique door knobs.
• Learn to recite the entirety of the alphabet backwards while balancing on one leg.

Make a To-Do List of Achievable Goals (Just for kicks, we're not judging you)