Deflective Dancing: The Art of Distracting Your Enemies

Technique 1: The Sudden Flapjack - A sudden, uncontrolled movement to draw attention away from your actual defense.

Subtle
- Wave your arms randomly in all directions.
- Twirl a nearby object, like a nearby chair.
- Jump up and down in place while shouting "Look over here!."
Not-so-Subtle
- Play a tinny, ear-piercing whistle.
- Set off a small, non-lethal firework.
- Do the chicken dance in front of your attacker.

Technique 2: The Misdirection Shuffle - A clever feint to redirect your attacker's attention.

Subtle
- Ask your attacker a series of complex questions about the meaning of life.
- Claim to have seen a rare bird in the nearby bushes.
- Offer to show them your extensive collection of vintage teapots.
Not-so-Subtle
- Start a loud argument with a nearby inanimate object.
- Claim to have seen a celebrity in the nearby alleyway.
- Challenge your attacker to a series of increasingly absurd competitions.

Technique 3: The Distraught Dervish - A whirlwind of movement to confuse and disorient your attacker.

Subtle
- Perform an intricate, 10-minute dance with a ballroom dancer's partner.
- Conduct a lengthy, in-depth analysis of the local flora.
- Sing an off-key, 5-minute rendition of "La Cucaracha".
Not-so-Subtle
- Set off a barrage of flashbulbs.
- Release a swarm of angry, genetically engineered, hyper-aggressive bees.
- Perform a series of increasingly complex, 10-minute-long contortionist poses.

Technique 4: The Dissemble Dash - A lightning-fast, zig-zagging movement to evade your attacker.

Subtle
- Walk quickly, yet erratically, through a nearby garden.
- Dance the Macarena while holding onto a lamppost for balance.
- Pretend to be a street performer, while secretly escaping through a hidden door.
Not-so-Subtle
- Run up and down a series of steep, narrow staircases.
- Ride a unicycle while juggling three balls.
- Launch a small, but noisy, firework into the air.

Technique 5: The Discombobulation - A confusing, ever-changing display to disorient your attacker.

Subtle
- Change the color of your clothing to match the color of the surrounding objects.
- Adopt an accent that shifts between three different languages every 30 seconds.
- Suddenly develop a fascination with the local architecture.
Not-so-Subtle
- Change your hair color to match the color of the surrounding objects every 5 seconds.
- Speak in a voice that is simultaneously a high-pitched squeak and a low, rumbling growl.
- Suddenly break into a series of unrelated, 10-minute-long monologues.

Technique 6: The Disruptive Dash - A sudden, swift, and decisive movement to disrupt your attacker's attack plans.

Subtle
- Suggest a series of alternative, more efficient routes to their destination.
- Offer to help them find a nearby parking spot.
- Recommend a nearby, highly-recommended restaurant.
Not-so-Subtle
- Pull a fire alarm to signal the presence of a nearby, highly-lethal gas leak.
- Set off a smoke bomb to obscure their view.
- Challenge you to a game of "Dodgeball" with a group of highly trained, highly aggressive, ninja warriors.