Tactics & Mindfulness for the Inept

Chapter 4: Practicing Self-Defense for the Clumsy

As a defender of the weak, it's essential to know how to defend oneself. But let's be real, you're probably going to get caught up in a fight and end up on the ground, flailing like a fish. So, let's focus on the most crucial self-defense tactic: the art of falling over and getting back up again.

Lesson 4.1: The Art of Falling Down

In this chapter, we'll learn how to fall like a pro. Not just any old fall, mind you, but a fall that looks like you meant to do it. A fall with style, with panache, with a hint of 'I meant to do that.'

Here's the basic steps:

1. Loosen your limbs, like a leaf in the autumn wind.
2. Twist your torso, like a twisty, turny tornado.
3. Land with a roll, like a barrel rolling down a hill.

And for those extra flair points:

• Add a little spin, like a pirouette.
• Throw in some jazz hands, for that extra dramatic effect.

Now, go practice your falls, you clumsy oaf! You can find more tips and tricks on our Equipment for the Inept page, and don't forget to visit our Cheat Codes for the Clumsy for some bonus tips!

Note: Please do not practice your new found art form near any fragile objects or people. We can't be held responsible for any injuries or broken hearts.